Where’d You Gofeatured

I wasn’t sure I wanted kids.

Should I be a mom?

But nothing made me want it more

Then the day that you were gone.

We listened to your heartbeat.

We were told that it was strong.

I’m thankful that I didn’t know

I wouldn’t keep you long.

I can look back on that moment

And remember just the love.

The happiness, the joy, the hope – 

It’s all worth thinking of.

Your heartbeat echos in my ears

I hear it clear as day.

I cannot help but question

Why it was you couldn’t stay.

When I felt the cramping,

I knew what to expect.

But hearing, “There’s no heartbeat.”

Still took away my breath.

I held you in my belly,

But never in my arms.

Why couldn’t I protect you

From whatever caused you harm?

Now – three healthy, happy babies

I’m very blessed, I know.

But sometimes I still ache for you

And wonder, where’d you go?